Change

If you don’t like something change it; if you can’t change it, change the way you think about it – Mary Engelbreit.

It sounds so simple yet very difficult to do. Or maybe it’s easier to think of wanting to change the circumstances or the person and forgetting to check on whether you can actually change it, or you have to change the way you think about it. 

I once had a boss who would look at issues very differently from the way I did. So, because he could call the shots, he’d make decisions based on his way. Imagine how that  would make me feel. Every. Single. Time. So  I was grumpy, and mad, and unhappy. Mostly I’d sulk and work would be like a chore in a nightmare. I’m pretty sure this boss wasn’t that much affected since he’d get his work done, albeit from a super grumpy employee. 

One day, I went to my home church and my pastor asked me about work. That was the perfect moment for me to cry about everything that I was patiently going through and how I felt like I was being tested by fire. I even felt  like I was getting better and better by the day at tolerating the unbearable boss. I told him how my prayers kept me going as  I told the Lord how unfair I was being treated and how I knew he collected every tear of mine and would pay me back double for my trouble. (I now find it embarrassingly ridiculous that I even quoted scripture over that!). My pastor told me to go back to work, love my job and respect my boss. I didn’t understand it, I thought he just didn’t know this particular situation so he couldn’t understand it. I did though change my prayers  and asked for strength to love my job and respect my boss. I assure you this boss changed and the job was unbelievably exciting and  I had no idea what made him change. Now I know, it was me who looked at the situation differently and so acted differently. The response from my changed actions changed for the better and life got really bearable. 

So many times in your life, you can change how you see a person, what you think of them, how you view a circumstance, how you think of what happened and that changes the whole dynamics of everything involved. There’s probably nothing about the situation that will change, but even the way you respond to that particular instance will be determined by how you choose to look at it. Think of the half full- half empty example. 

It talks of the same principle. Since you mostly can’t change what’s around you, how your spouse acts, how the other drivers are going to negotiate that corner, how that shop attendant will treat you, how the pastor will respond to your problem, and on and on and on. What comfort you have is that you can at least change something, that’s you and how you respond to pretty much anything.